So, uh, I was going to post about my week.  The bachelorette party on Thursday to Cheesecake Factory & other stores in Woodfield (btw, love my new bathrobe), and the trip to Naperville's Comedy Shrine for Chick Schtick Improv night after a long day of unusual errands with my mother that thankfully included a successful trip to purchase make-up for the wedding (icky expensive!).  How Fred handled family stuff at home, which somehow included certain otherwise extremely considerate individuals leaving him with very icky stir-fry dishes.  My inability to get anything done Friday then madly rushing around to finish packing.  How rehearsals are always kinda weird and how Fred's triage of surrogate sisters (separate from 4th Sister Kelly) showed up en masse and how they're smiles and support and big-sister advice changed the dynamics and calmed me down.  And so on.

The quasi-party I attended Friday night with Fred's youngest sister and the triage (plus our photographer) that they dubbed a bachelorette party for me so they could excuse a fun trip to an unknown store (Lover's Lane, probably) for penis straws, which I refused to use.  How they spent quite a good chunk of time giving me practical or far-too-informative advice that would have been much better to learn about if I wasn't worried about the mental scarring some of it might have on my 17 year old cousin next to me.  Some things are just hard to discuss around someone whose diapers you've changed, no matter how grown-up and mature she is and how much you know her friends at least try to obsess/discuss the same topics that the ladies surrounding me have personally experienced.  Having Janice there helped because there's only so much you can say to someone when your best friend's little brother is the guy being referred to.  I was careful not to have overindulge in the Hawaiian Punch and Chips Ahoy and managed to make it to bed only one hour later than planned (they were just so interesting!).  Crying was limited to the member of the triage who grew up on Fred's street and was "married" to him 6 times when they were both young (I think he was 3).  She asked me to see what I could do about getting her alimony.  :-)

The experience Saturday of waking up way earlier than I had to but being too hungry to sleep anymore and revolving between different sides of the family, of course seated in different areas of the breakfast.  The fun it was hanging out in Wesley's Fireside Lounge and getting ready, although I think some of my cuzies were bored.  Hanging out, even pretzel bread sandwiches, goldfish, and Creme Savers (I forgot the dark chocolate), listening to a girls-kick-butt playlist, courtesy of brassdollfin, and so on and so forth is just a fantastic way to get ready for your wedding.  One of the triage (a professional to boot) did my hair (took about 90 minutes) and while there was a brief panic when the other 2 of the 3 didn't show up til late (they had forgotten they were going to do my make-up), the only ickiness was when the Mommy-Lady started getting frantic at 1:58 because I wasn't in my dress yet, mostly because someone had told the organist to start playing and he wasn't supposed to until everyone was ready and about to head upstairs.  I think we started around 2:05 which I'm pretty sure is some sort of record for weddings being on time.  And I was perfectly made to order - 100% princess.  :D

The wedding was sweet and pretty and nice and very simple and as soon as I got up there I just wanted to press *PAUSE* and stand and smile and look around and let it all sink in that I was really, truly about to get married.  I went straight from class on Wednesday to running around doing errands and final dress fittings on Thursday, then 2 friend get-togethers and the rehearsal and hanging out and having fun in the getting-ready room and when the moment was really, truly there I couldn't freeze everything and just absorb it all.  We had wanted a service with no fluff or filler, long enough to be meaningful and short enough to keep people engaged (I recommend 45 minutes as a good number) and I was hanging on every word- there was just no point where I could have tuned out and took in the moment instead.  Hard to complain about it because we designed the service that way but oh well.  Everyone and everything looked gorgeous and wonderful and it is not my fault people were crying- Fred teared up before he said one word of his vows and made me forget mine because I was so choked up.  I do not see why people (probably the maternal side of Fred's family) went whoo-whoo when we kissed- it barely lasted 5 seconds.  The pastor was so incredibly happy about us that he said a bit more than we thought he would on certain subjects, but what can you do?  I think it turned out very, very well- my only regret is not doing a receiving line everyone had  to go through first because a lot of people just kinda waved at us as they went out the door and a lot of the things we really wanted to have at the reception were all gone by the time pictures were done (Fred in particular is mourning the lack of Andes mints).

Let's see... what else.  No one did anything stupid like trying to nitpick over whether the veil matched the tiara matched the earrings matched the jewelry etc etc.  Some people were disappointed that we didn't stuff cake in each other's faces but if I had stuffed Fred's face, he would have stuffed mine and then I would have had crumbs all down by front (ooky feeling) and frosting smears on my dress.  And for how surprised they looked when the pastor mentioned sex in his homily ("honor with my body" is a vow-phrase that you just don't hear nowadays but I think it's my new favorite), some of Fred's family still did that stupid glass clinky thing (even though they didn't even have real glasses!!) quite a lot.  I got to hug everyone who was still there but had time to run and hide and change into regular clothes once I started getting hot- the A/C in the Sanctuary and Fireside Room worked perfectly but the Fellowship Hall where the reception was isn't used to having that many people in it for that long during mid-afternoon.  I still kept on my veil and tiara for the sheer sake of feeling princess-y and self-indulgent and it's a good thing I did 'cuz it took Fred and I ten minutes to take out all the pins and get them off me later on. 

Ergh.... spending too much time rambling about Saturday (full gushy update later).  Let's see.  Were both really surprised at the number of bags and cards that showed up, particularly once they were all deposited into our living room (whoa), extremely very touched at the way Fred's brother-in-law (and now mine too!) did up our room, made Janice & co. feed us Sunday brunch as they were our rides back home and I had not felt up to spending time with family at 7 am Sunday morning but that also meant I got to play with Baby B-Rock quite a bit (his corn allergy meant I couldn't smother him with kisses Saturday because I had already eaten), and got to say good-bye to my family at the tail-end of their birthday celebration for my paternal Grandma's 85th.  Sat down and opened all the cards and presents Sunday night, and joyfully slept on new pillows and sheets.  Monday was our honeymoon at Brookfield Zoo.  We saw the wolves and the penguins and the gorillas and the lions and bears and hippos and seals and such and it was fun!  Discovered a cool little cafe/diner right by our apartment beforehand.  Were going to get the zoo's version of bride and groom build-a-bears but they were out of bride dresses.

Wow, I have an inability to summarize.  This was all supposed to be the most fleeting of backgrounds, a hint of what I was actually going to write about now but have decided to write about later because of what Fred went through last night. Last night, when we were intending to get ready for bed because he had to get up and get ready for work at 6 am this morning, Fred was put through a bout of marital trauma that I thought was a bit excessive for being on the last day of our "honeymoon."  Within a 30 minute span of time, he was abruptly introduced to the mouse that re-entered our apartment when we brought presents in Saturday,  was interrupted from that by his new wife losing her dinner in the corner,  returned to the mouse after she was feeling better and successfully chased it out and then insisted on taking care of all the dishes still left by relatives on Thursday so that she could curl up her in her new squishy blue chair (I don't care that it's a circle, I'm declaring it a throne) and recover.